Couples & Relationship Counselling
You're having the same argument you had last month. Probably the same one you had last year, with different details attached.
Or you've stopped arguing, which felt like progress for a while, and now you're two people who are polite to one another and run the logistics well.
Most couples don't come to me at the first sign of trouble. They come after a few years of hoping it would sort itself out.
What people actually come in with
The same fight on a loop, where you both know your lines before you say them
Living like housemates: the diary works, the conversation doesn't
One of you stopped bringing things up because it costs more than it's worth
Trust that's been broken, and no idea what to do with what's left
Finding each other again after children, illness, or a hard few years
One of you wants to leave and one wants to fix it
That last one is more common than people expect, and it's still workable.
If your partner won't come
This is the most common reason couples counselling never happens, so let me be direct about it: you can start on your own.
Working with one person changes the relationship. You are half of every pattern in it, and when you shift how you respond, the pattern has to move. Plenty of my clients start alone and their partner joins later, once it stops looking like an ambush. Some never do, and the work still holds.
Waiting until you both agree to go can cost you years.
How I work with couples
I'm interested in the pattern between you rather than who's right. Most couples arrive wanting a referee, and what actually helps is seeing the loop you're both stuck in and where each of you steps into it.
We look at how you each handle conflict, what happens in your body when it starts, and what you're each protecting. Usually the argument on the surface is not the one you're having.
We'll also look at what you both brought with you. How conflict was handled in the house you grew up in, what you learned love was supposed to look like, and which of those lessons is still running without either of you choosing it.
Not every couple is trying to stay together
Some come to work out whether to stay. Some come to separate well, especially where there are children who will need both of you for the rest of their lives.
Both are legitimate reasons to be in the room, and you don't have to know which one you're doing before you start.
What it costs
See my fees and rebates page for details. Medicare rebates cover individual sessions only, so there's no rebate on couples work.
If you start on your own with a mental health treatment plan from your GP, individual sessions are rebatable.
I see couples in person in Joondalup, and by video anywhere in Australia, including when one of you is away for work.
Starting
The first session is a working session. We'll get into what's actually happening between you, and I want you both leaving that first hour with something you can use.
Call me on 0410 461 588. If it's easier for one of you to make that call, that's completely normal.
Reconnect Relationship Retreats:
Couples Counselling retreat in Perth’s Swan Valley
I am now offering an intensive relationship therapy course for couples in Perth.
Whether you want to jump start your relationship, or you are in the midst of a crisis, Reconnect Relationship Retreats deliver you months of therapy in just a couple of days.
We offer an engaging two day retreat that gets to the heart of what makes relationships strong, meaningful and connected.
